My confession about depression

Beginning of 2015, I starting to depressed myself. I felt like I’d been living two different lives. There’s the life that everyone sees, and then there’s the life that only I see. And the life that everyone sees, as who I am as a family, as a friend, a student and as a colleague. That’s the life everyone sees. And that the huge part of me. And that’s how I describe myself. And I wouldn’t be lying but I wouldn’t totally be telling the truth, either. Because the truth is that’s just the life everyone else sees. In the life that only I see, who I am, who I really am is someone who struggle with depression.

For someone who has never experienced depression or doesn’t really know what that means, that might surprise them to hear because there’s this pretty popular misconception that depression is just being sad when something in your life goes wrong, when you lose your loved one, when you don’t get the job you wanted. But that’s sadness. That’s a natural  thing. That’s a natural human emotion. Real depression isn’t being sad when something in your life goes wrong. Real depression is being sad when everything in your life is going right. That’s real depression. it’s hard for me to talk about it and it seems to be hard for people who suffer from depression to talk about it, so much so that no one’s talking about it. And no one’s talking depression, but we need to be because right now it’s a massive problem, but we don’t see it on social media, we don’t it on fb, on twitter we don’t see it on news because it’s not happy, it’s not fun, it’s not light. And because we don’t see it, we don’t see the severity of it. but the severity of it and the seriousness of it is this; every 30 seconds, somewhere, someone in the world takes their own life because of depression. And it might be two blocks away, it might be two countries away, and it’s happening every single day. And we have a tendency, as a society to look at that and go, “so what?” we look at that and we say, “that’s your problem, that’s their problem”. We say we are sad, we say we are sorry but we also say, “so what”.

Depression isn’t chicken pox, you don’t beat it once and it’s gone forever. It’s something you live with. It’s something you live in. it’s the roommate you can’t kick out. It’s the voice you can’t ignore, it’s the feelings you can’t seem to escape, the scariest part is that after a while you become numb to it. it becomes normal for you and what you really fear the most isn’t the suffering inside of you, it’s the stigma inside of others, it’s the shame, the embarrassment, the disapproving look on a friend’s face, it’s the whispers in the hallway that you’re weak, it’s the comments that you’re crazy. That’s what keeps you from getting help. That’s what make you hold it in and hide it. it’s the stigma. So you hold it in and you hide it, and you hold it in and you hide it. and even though it’s keeping you in bed every day and it’s making your life feel empty no matter how much you try and fill it, you hide it because the stigma in our society around depression is very real.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where if you break your arm, everyone runs over to sign your cast, but if you tell people you’re depressed, everyone runs the other way. That’s the stigma. We are so, so accepting of any body part breaking down other than brains. And that’s ignorance. That’s pure ignorance, and that ignorance has created a world that doesn’t understand depression, that doesn’t understand mental health. And that’s ironic to me because depression is one of the best documented problems we have in the world, yet it’s one of the least discussed. We just push it aside and put it in a corner and pretended it’s not there and hope it’ll fix itself. Well, it won’t. it hasn’t and it’s not going to because that’s wishful thinking and wishful thinking isn’t a game plan, it’s procrastination, and we can’t procrastinate on something this important.

The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. Well, we haven’t done that, so we can’t really expect to find an answer when we’re still afraid of the question. And I don’t know what the solution is. I wish I did, but I don’t, but I think it has to start here. It has to start with me, it has to start with you, it has to start with the people who are suffering, the ones who are hidden in the shadows. We need to speak up and shatter the silence. We need to be ones who are brave for what we believe in, because if there’s one thing that I’ve come to realize, if there’s one thing that I see as the biggest problem it’s not in building a world where we eliminate the ignorance of others, it’s in building a world where we teach the acceptance of ourselves, where we’re okay with who we are, because when we get honest we see that we all struggle and we all suffer. Whether it’s with this, or with something else we all know what it is to hurt. We all know what is to have pain in our heart, and we all know how important it is to heal. But right now, depression is society’s deep cut that we’re content to put a band-aid over and pretend it’s not there. Well, it is there, and you what? It’s okay. Depression is okay. If you’re going through it, know that you’re okay. And know that you’re sick, you’re not weak and it’s an issue, not identity because when you get past the fear of the ridicule and the judgment and the stigma of others, you can see depression for what it really is and that’s just part of life, just a part of life and as much as I hate, as much as I hate some places. Some of the parts of my life, depression has drag me down to in a lot ways I’m grateful for it. because yeah, it’s put me in the valleys, but only to show me there’s peaks and yeah it’s dragged me through the dark but only to remind me there is light. 

My pain, more than anything in 26 years on this planet, has given me perspective and my hurt has forced me to have hope, have hope and to have faith, faith in myself, faith in others, faith in God, faith that it can get better that we can change this, that we can speak up and speak out and fight back against ignorance, fight back against intolerance, and more than anything learn to love ourselves, learn to accept ourselves for who we are, the people we are, not the people the world wants us to be. Because the world I believe in is one where embracing your light doesn’t mean ignoring your dark. The world I believe in is one where we’re measured by our ability to overcome adversities, not avoid them. The world I believe in is one where can look someone in the eye and say. “I’m going through hell” and they can look back at me and go, “me too” and that’s okay, and it’s okay because depression is okay. We’re people and we struggle and we suffer and we bleed and we cry and if you think that true strength means never showing any weakness, then I’m here to tell you, you’re wrong because it’s the opposite. We’re people and we have problems. We’re not perfect and that’s okay. So, we need to stop the ignorance stop the intolerance stop the stigma, and stop the silence and we need to take away the taboos, take a look at the truth and start talking because the only way we’re going to beat a problem that people are battling alone is by standing strong together. I believe that we can. 

How is our personality is build up?

Assalamualaikum.

Untuk entry ni, aku nak kongsikan tentang mcm mana personaliti kita dibina. I'm sharing this based on what i have learned in my personality class with Prof. Nik Hisham from INSTED, IIUM.

If you are aware, everything have its own theory. And yes, of course, there are many theories in personality. There are many school of thought, such as, Freud, Carl Jung, Erik Erikson, Hans Eysenck and many more. You can just google up if you are curious about them and their theories in personality.

I'm going to share about traits theory.
So, what is traits? In Malay we call it sifat.

Traits refers to consistent pattern in which an individual behaves, feels and think, over time and across situation.
That's the definition of traits.

Basically, traits are fundamental building block of human personality.
What is building block then? It means that. your personality is build up by many elements.

Here is the picture to make you understand

This is what we call building blocks.

To simplify it, we are build our building block based on our environment through our senses. Then, it build our liking, habits, traits and super trait.

Let me give you an example.

Based on our environment we are living, we are build our liking through our senses. 

Such as I like book. (Liking)

Then, because I like book, I love to read (habit)

I rather to read book, than to socialize with people (traits)

It makes me an introvert (super trait)   

Is it clear?

Basically, our super trait are build up based on our liking, habit and trait. This is one of trait theory, explain how our personality is build up. 

And those building block could collapse if your environment change. 

For instance, you have faced traumatize event. And your building block collapse and it build new building block, thus you may build new personality. 

So, environment plays an important role of our personality beside our nature traits. 

I try to write up my understanding about this topic since it will come up in our final exam. ehe.

Hopefully I will share more about psychology stuff that I have been learned in my classes because I'm battling with times right now.

Until next time!

What You See Is Not What Your Brain Gets

Can you read this?:

Aoccdrnig to reserach at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, the oredr of lteetrs in a wrod is nto vrey iprmoetnt. Waht mttaers is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The ohter letetrs can be a ttoal mses and you can sitll raed wthuot mcuh probelm. Tihs is bcauseae yuor brian deos not raed ervey lteter, but raeds wrods and gruops of wrods.

I came across a similar paragraph in a book on Cognitive Psychology (Solso, 2005).

What our eyes see is not what our brain ends up with – We think that we are walking around looking at the world around us with our eyes, and that our eyes are sending information to the brain which processes it and gives us a realistic experience of “what’s out there”. But the truth is that what our brain comes up with is not exactly what our eyes are actually seeing.

The great interpreter – Our brain is constantly interpreting everything it sees. Take, for example, the picture below:

What do you see? Your first reaction is probably that you are looking at a triangle with a black border in the background, and a white triangle upside down on top of it. Of course that’s not really what is there, is it? What’s there are some partial lines and some partial circles. Your brain creates the shape of an upside down triangle out of blank space, because that is what it is expecting to see. This particular illusion is called a Kanizsa triangle, named after an Italian psychologist (G. Kanizsa) that first came up with it in 1955.

Shortcuts to the world – Our brains create these shortcuts in order to try and quickly make sense out of the world around us. There are so many (millions) of sensory inputs coming into our brain every second, that it has to try to make it all make sense. So it uses rules of thumb, and extrapolates what it has experience with, to make guesses about what it is seeing. Most of the time that works, but sometimes it causes errors.

What you design may not be what people see – The take-away is that what we think people are going to see may not be what they do see. It might depend on their background, knowledge, familiarity with what they are looking at, and expectations. Conversely, we might be able to persuade people to see things in a certain way, depending on how they are presented. Here’s another example from the Solso book:

By using different colored backgrounds we can draw attention and change the meaning of the sign.

What do you think? Do you think designers use these principles to draw attention on purpose? If you are a designer do you use these ideas? If we can read so well with all these misspellings, are typos even a problem?

Here’s the Solso book reference: Cognitive Psychology, edited by Solso, 7th edition, Allyn and Bacon, 2005.

By: http://www.businessinsider.com/100-things-you-should-know-about-people-part-2#what-you-see-is-not-what-your-brain-gets-1

#4 Question on Freud's theory on iceberg

"What does it mean if all of the things that Freud classified as unconscious in the mental iceberg drawing are very conscious to me and I constantly think about them?"

It means that you’re more ‘in-touch’ with your thoughts, actions and emotions and that other ‘things’ will be within your unconscious. 

Nobodies unconscious are the same. It’s made up of memories, desires, fears and motives that we’re unaware of. They ‘drive’/influence our behavior and are usually accessible with the help of therapy.

Please note that the unconscious is a theory and has never been tested as ‘real’. The diagram is to explain Freud’s idea of consciousness and someone has added those feelings/emotions to give an example of what’s in there. 

Don’t believe everything on the internet as fact.

#3 Question on tests to tell which intelligence we exhibit most of

"Do you know any good tests to tell which intelligence we exhibit most of?"

A quick search has found these two. They’re based on Gardner’s (1983) multiple intelligence.

1. Scroll down here to find the free tests, and to read all about his theory.

(http://www.businessballs.com/howardgardnermultipleintelligences.htm#multipleintelligences tests)

2. Fill this one in online (http://www.edutopia.org/multiple-intelligences-assessment)

Just be aware that these tests won’t be 100% and little things like your current mood and state (fatigue, stress, hunger etc.), or interpretation of the statement will alter the results daily.

#2 Question on how neuroplasticity works

“I was wondering if you could explain how neuroplasticity works”

Neuroplasticity or plasticity is about neural pathways and our ability to create new ones. Essentially, the idea that the brain was rigid and unable to change is untrue. Our brain is like plastic and can change and learn new things easily.

Information creates a neural pathway through the brain when it travels from one neuron to the next. When we learn new information, new pathways begin to form. The more we repeat the information, the stronger those pathways become, the less we repeat, the weaker they become and eventually ‘die’ - this is called synaptic pruning.

-Plasticity occurs throughout your life, but is more frequent during childhood.

-Information can be anything from learning to ride a bike/a language, to changing our mindset (mindfulness).

There’s loads of evidence to support it, for example:

1) People who have an area of expertise - London taxi drivers have to pass a knowledge test which requires them to learn 25,000 street names in a 6 mile radius, including the locations of tubes, hospitals etc.

2) People who recover from trauma injuries (Car accidents/stroke victims) are able to return to a fully functioning lifestyle after their trauma. The brain would rewire itself and rebuild neural pathways again (Learning how to walk again).

#1 Question about why people can be independent?

“What psychological research had been discovered about why people can be independent?”

Well, independence is a subjective term and I imagine it’s quite difficult to research. What I consider to be independent may not be the same for you, or different situations may encourage people to behave differently. Humans are also horrible at judging themselves.

From the top of my head, there’s been studies into ‘Locus of Control’ which is how much personal control you believe to have in a situation. You can either have internal (You take full responsibility/control for your behaviour and actions) or external (You don’t take responsibility and believe other people control actions or behaviour in your life, or that it was all luck).

or Erikson devised life stages in which we all progress through in our own time. During each stage we have to ‘resolve’ the current conflict. 

Eg; The adolescence stage deals with Identity Vs Confusion. Independence could form here as you could experience the complexity of life and would learn about different types of perception (sensory, logical and aesthetic).

Have a look on [scholar.google.co.uk] and search the term autonomy/autonomous as well.

Do you know that our hormones help us sleep?

When it comes to motives for getting a good night’s sleep we don’t usually think about our body’s hormones. But sleep allows many of our hormones to replenish so we have the optimal energy, immunity, appetite and coping ability to face the day’s highs and lows.

The activities we do during the day – from having a fight with a partner, using our iPhones at night, running in a race, to travelling overseas – also affect our hormone levels and, in turn, our quality of sleep.

For both men and women, changes in our levels of sex hormones can affect how well we sleep. These differences also change with age.

Understanding the connections between hormones and sleep may help improve your own sleep and well-being.

What are hormones?

Our body’s hormones are like chemical messages in the bloodstream which cause a change in a particular cell or organ and surrounding tissues. The hormone adrenaline, for example, is produced by the adrenal glands (on top of the kidneys) and helps prepare the body’s “fight or flight” response during times of stress.

Hormones control many of the body’s processes, including growth, development, reproduction, responding to stress, metabolism and energy balance.

Hormones are linked with sleep in a number of ways.

Hormones affect sleep through our stress levels

Some hormones, such as adrenaline, make us feel more alert and prepared for action. This then makes it hard for us to go to sleep. To prevent this effect, it’s best to do relaxing activities before bedtime, rather than stressful work tasks or intense exercise.

When stress is long lasting, adrenocorticotrophic hormone within the pituitary gland (attached to the base of the brain) triggers the release of cortisone and cortisol from the adrenal glands.

Levels of adrenocorticotrophic hormone tend be higher in people with insomnia than in good sleepers. This suggests that excessive arousal and ongoing stressors contribute to the insomnia.

Elite athletes can have difficulty getting to sleep because they tend to have high levels of cortisol throughout the day, including in the evening.

Hormones released during sleep boost our immune system and make us hungry

Sleep is a time when several of the body’s hormones are released into the bloodstream. These include growth hormone, which is essential for growth and tissue repair, including in adults.

Sleep helps to balance our appetite by maintaining optimal levels of the hormones ghrelin and leptin. So, when we get less sleep than normal we may feel an urge to eat more.

Sleep also controls levels of the hormones insulin and cortisol so that we wake up hungry, prompting us to eat breakfast, and we are prepared for facing daytime stress.

If we get less sleep than normal our levels of prolactin may get out of balance and we can end up with a weakened immune system, difficulty concentrating and carbohydrate cravings during the day.

Hormones stop us from having to get up in the night to go to the bathroom

Changes in hormonal levels during sleep, including higher levels of aldosterone and antidiuretic hormone, prevent us from needing to go to the toilet. In children, while the hormonal system is still developing, bedwetting may be partly influenced by low levels of antidiuretic hormone.

Hormones make us feel sleepy at night

Hormone levels also influence the timing of when we feel sleepy and awake – our body clock or sleep-wake cycle. The hormone melatonin is released with darkness and tells our body it’s time to sleep. This is why being around too much bright light before bed can affect our sleep as it can stop the release of melatonin. It’s also why it can be hard for night-time shift workers to sleep during the day.

While artificial melatonin is available, taking the wrong dosage and at the wrong time of day can make things worse, so it’s best used with the guidance of a medical doctor.

Hormones give us a wake-up call in the morning

Levels of the hormone cortisol dip at bedtime and increase during the night, peaking just before waking. This acts like a wake-up signal, turning on our appetite and energy.

When we travel long distances our body’s sleep-wake cycle takes a while to adjust. So increased cortisol levels and hunger may occur at inappropriate times of the day.

For women, changes in hormones affect sleep

The relationship between hormones and the sleep-wake cycle in women is further influenced by the menstrual cycle. Just before a woman’s period, hormonal changes, including the sudden drop in levels of progesterone, affect the body’s temperature control, which in turn can reduce the amount of “REM” sleep. This is the stage of sleep when most of our dreams occur.

For women with severe premenstrual symptoms reduced levels of melatonin before bedtime just before their menstrual period can cause poor sleep, including night-time awakenings or daytime sleepiness.

Changes in hormone levels also contribute to sleeping difficulties during pregnancy. Increased progesterone levels can cause daytime sleepiness, particularly in the first trimester. High levels of oestrogen and progesterone during pregnancy can also cause nasal swelling and lead to snoring.

During menopause, low levels of oestrogen may contribute to sleeping difficulties. Changes in hormone levels mean that body temperature is less stable and there may be increases in adrenaline levels, both of which can affect sleep.

The loss of oestrogen causes body fat to move more to the stomach area, which increases the chances of women having snoring and sleep apnoea.

For men, testosterone levels affect sleep

For men, levels of testosterone are highest during sleep and require at least three hours of sleep to reach this peak. Low levels of testosterone in men, which can occur with sleep deprivation, ageing and physical problems, have been associated with a reduction in sleep efficiency and changes to the stages of sleep men experience.

Testosterone can be taken as a drug but abuse of it can lead to other sleep problems.

Hormones influence our dreams

Finally, as we sleep, our hormones, including levels of oxytocin and cortisol, may influence the content of our dreams.

By doing things to promote good sleep, such as reducing stress, engaging in relaxing evening routines before bed, going to bed and getting up at regular times, or seeking professional help for sleeping difficulties, we can facilitate the replenishing activities of our hormones that help us make the most of our day and optimise our well-being.

Source: Chemical Messenger: How Hormones Help Us Sleep

p/s: How great Allah created us, right? Subhanallah.